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Problem #2: Another person "stole" my friend from me and now prefers this new friend to me. A true friend cannot be "stolen." If your friend decides to spend some time with a new friend, excluding you, that can be very painful. But if your friend is a true friend, she will not desert you for another person.

Someone who leaves a friendship because she's found another person she likes better is someone you'd be better off without in the long run.

But if we want friends, we've got to get beyond this. I desperately wanted friends but did not know how to get them. I started connecting with others who felt as I did.

We must realize it is our responsibility to make friends. My mother told me to reach out to others who were also timid and alone and start talking to them, just as Proverbs says. Because I was willing to take a risk, I went from feeling lonely to having some terrific friends.

And even in Jesus' life: Although He had 12 disciples, His inner circle — His closest friends — were three in number: Peter, James and John.

You can become a king of social circles in your university or school.

At a recent Southern Baptist conference on sexuality, pastor Kie Bowman suggested men not "get in a car (alone) with woman who is not your wife unless she's your mother's age." On the other end of the spectrum, Christian writers like Dan Brennan and Jonalyn Fincher argue that "cross-sex friendships" are worth the risk, even if one or both of the friends are married.

If 1 and 2 Samuel had recounted David's friendship with Jonatha instead of Jonathan, or if God had included an 11th commandment on friendship, we might have ...

But with the media constantly showing male/female friendships evolving into romantic relationships, many are convinced that a long-term, truly platonic friendship between individuals of the opposite sex just isn't possible.

Romantic interest, physical attraction and sometimes, the jealousy of significant others can threaten to sabotage a cross-gender friendship.




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