And when they finally do go out with someone, they actually, well, go out.The grown world is dying to know what it means for a middle schooler to have a girlfriend or boyfriend in today's News-at-11 era of supposed oral sex parties and sluttier-than-thou dating shows.But for the bulk of children from sixth through eighth grade, the customs are similar, and surprisingly enduring.There are the folded-up notes, the embarrassed exchanges, the hearts scrawled on sneakers, the loves-of-one's-life that according to kids and the best guesses of scholars last an average of two to four weeks (one-sixth the duration of the typical high school liaison).There's no point."Certainly a small minority of middle schoolers are having sex, and another small group pays no attention to the whole crush thing.Not every kid is experiencing romance in the same way.Encourage them to mingle with both boys and girls in a mixed group setting, such as a church youth group.

If your child is under seventeen years of age, we'd recommend that you sit down with together and map out some specific guidelines for relationships with the opposite sex.

They should also bear in mind that while eighteen-year-olds may be considered "adults," the fact remains that many of them haven't developed the maturity to monitor and control their own actions in a dating situation.

If an older teen displays maturity, common sense, and sound moral judgment, dating can play an important role in his or her growth and development.

The 1999 book is one of the few pieces of child development scholarship dwelling more on courtship than on sex.

From the title of one chapter -- "You're Going Out With Who?