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BMI is a profoundly inaccurate measure of just about and being skinny doesn’t guarantee good health.

The next key is simply to accept that your body is your body and your shape is your shape and there is only so much that you can do to change that.

Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you’ll get six different answers.

Take, for example, this image from a feature in the UK periodical The Sun; they flipped the script by posing ordinary men in underwear ads a la David Beckham or Christiano Ronaldo: women prefer large and burly even when society insists that they only like guys who look like they’re 3% body fat.

And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.

And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.

Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.Be alert for affirmations that you have a strong reaction to. You can shuffle the positive affirmation cards by pressing the shuffle link, then simply choose an affirmation card by clicking on it. It's amazing how often "just the right" affirmation comes to just the right person. Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.Now we could dwell on the fact that these various winners are not gym-sculpted Adonnises themselves, but instead I want to focus on the positive and work on people’s lives instead of trying to stroke the hate-boner.Others are shorter and squatter and will always appear heavier.Some people have shorter torsos and trunks, which will affect their visual proportions; a longer torso makes you look skinnier even if you’re overweight while a shorter one makes you appear wider.More importantly though, it’s important to remember that attraction is about more than just looks – it’s about personality, presence and what you bring to the table.There’s no denying that looks find you attractive is to understand that being fat isn’t a cut and dry issue. Some people can lose weight without barely trying while others can exercise and diet until their eyes bleed and barely see the scale shift.Select a free affirmation card from our pack of positive affirmations. assert strongly, state as a fact; (Law) confirm, ratify, (judgement). Just be prepared to listen to your inner voice when you pick one. Besides, the best revenge is living well and there’s nothing quite like seeing the underdog succeed despite all of his or her disadvantages. The cognitive dissonance Now, I’m going to be blunt: dating can suck when you’re fat.Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.




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